What Anna Nicole Teaches Us About Globalwarming

As the world continues its around-the-clock reporting of Anna Nicole Smith’s untimely death (update: she’s still dead), we continue to look for lessons in her life and her passing. In our case, we look at what Anna Nicole can teach the globalwarming awareness2007 movement:

  • Rumors abound that Anna Nicole died choking on her own vomit. Globalwarming and its deniers make US vomit.
  • Millions of kilowatt hours of electricity are being wasted on powering televisions tuned to around-the-clock coverage. Coal plants are spewing more greenhouse gasses in the air each minute of this.Of course, if it weren’t Ms. Smith, it would likely be American Idol gossip. So while this may not be a net loss to the planet, it does indicate to us that people arewasting a lot of both personal and global energy on watching crap on TV.
  • News stations are adding to the carbon debt of the planet flying reporters to various sites to do stories on Anna Nicole.
  • Her body has been ordered to be preserved for future court cases. This is unnatural, just like globalwarming.

Truly, celebrity deaths are the opiate of the masses. People should rise from their sofas, and push away the cheez doodles. Globalwarming awareness2007 needs every citizen to reduce their energy usage and increase their political involvement. For those who cannot rise from their comfy chair and who must have televised stimulation, NetFlix can deliver Al Gore’s masterpiece An Inconvenient Truth right to their doors.

Globalwarming awareness2007: Anna Nicole is dead. Let’s get on with the fight against global climate change and terrestrial catastrophe!

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